Chapter IV - The Spirit Doctor
I awoke the following day after a deep, refreshing sleep. A comforting light poured through my window, bathing everything in the room with radiance and felling my heart with hope. I felt like a new man, filled with renewed energy and the joy of living. Only one thing clouded my soul I longed for my home and for my family so far away.
Numerous questions troubled my mind, but my feeling of relief was so great that it calmed my spirit and kept me from further contemplation. I wanted to get up and enjoy the beauty of my surroundings but I could not. I realized that without the magnetic cooperation of my attendant I would not be able to leave my bed.
I had scarcely gotten over the many experiences when the door opened and Clarence entered, accompanied by a friendly stranger. They greeted me cordially, wishing me peace. My rescuer from the Lower Zones3 asked about
my general health, and my attendant quickly came to inform him.
Clarence smiled and introduced his companion, brother Henry de Luna of the medical staff of the spiritual colony. Brother Henry was dressed in white and his face radiated benevolence. He examined me at length, then smiled and spoke:
“It is a pity that you’ve come here by way of suicide.”
Clarence remained calm but I felt a surge of revolt within me. Suicide? I remembered the accusations of those perverse beings in the Lower Zones. Even though I was grateful to my benefactors, I couldn’t accept this accusation.
Lower Zones are the shadowy regions where excessively self-centered souls or those with a guilty ridden conscience find themselves after death. (Translator’s note.)
“I believe you are mistaken,” I said, distressed, “my departure from the world had other causes. I fought over forty days trying to overcome death. I suffered through two serious operations because of an intestinal occlusion.”
"Quite so,” the doctor continued, calm and perfectly composed, “but the occlusion was the result of very serious causes. Perhaps you haven’t thought it over enough. The spirit body presents within it a complete history of the
actions practiced on Earth."
Leaning over me, he went on, pointing to different parts of my body. “Let’s look at the intestinal zone,” he said, “the occlusion was due to cancerous elements, which in turn arose from some indiscretions of yours, in which you contracted syphilis. The disease might not have assumed such grave characteristics had your mental attitudes been firmly based on the principles of moderation and brotherly love. Instead, you chose a dark, exasperating way of life which attracted destructive vibrations from those around you. You never imagined that anger attracts negative forces, did you? Your lack of self control and your thoughtlessness in dealing with others, whom you so often unthinkingly offended, frequently left you under the influence of sickly and inferior beings. These circumstances greatly aggravated your physical state.”
After a long pause, in which he went on examining me attentively, he continued: “Have you observed, my friend, that your liver was damaged through your action? That your kidneys were also mistreated in your reckless disregard for the divine gift of physical existence?”
I felt deeply disappointed, but the doctor, seemingly unaware of my anguish, continued to clarify: “The bodily organs possess incalculable
reserves in accordance with the Lord’s designs. You, my friend, evaded many excellent opportunities and wasted the precious blessing of physical existence. The long term assignment which you had been given by those of greater spiritual accomplishment was reduced to half hearted attempts at work which you never completed. Your entire gastronomical system was destroyed as a direct result of your “harmless” excesses in food and drink, and
your essential energies were devoured by the syphilis you contracted through still other excesses. As we see, the diagnosis is incontestable.
I thought about problems of human life, and reflected on the many opportunities I had lost. In my life on Earth I had own many masks, tailoring them to the situation at hand. I hade never imagined I would be asked to account for those seemingly unimportant episodes. I had at that time conceived of human error according to human laws everything not prohibited by those laws was natural and acceptable. Here, however, I found another system of judging those errors. I was not confronted by stern judges pronouncing harsh verdicts, or facing torture or the infernal abyss. Instead, smiling benefactors commented on my weaknesses as if they were dealing with a wayward child. Their superior compassion struck a blow to my human pride. If only I had been tormented by diabolic beings I would have found my failure less bitter. Clarence’s sympathetic kindness, the doctor’s warm tone and the attendant’s good-natured patience all served to turn my pride to
shame. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed brokenheartedly, realizing that Henry de Luna’s conclusions were irrefutable. I admitted the full extent of my faults. Only one torturing truth now remained before me: I had truly committed suicide. I had wasted the precious opportunity of human life, and was nothing more than a castaway rescued by charity.
It was then that Clarence, stroking my hair in a fatherly manner, spoke: “Stop lamenting, my son. I went in search of you in answer to the
intercessions of those who love you in the higher spheres. Your tears will grieve their hearts. Surely you would rather show your gratitude by remaining calm during the examination of your faults, wouldn’t you? True,
your diagnosis points clearly to suicide, but I assure you that hundreds of others leave the Earth daily in exactly the same way you did. Therefore, still your heart. Use the treasure of repentance well; keep the blessing of remorse
in your soul, however late it has arrived. Don’t forget that worrying doesn’t solve our problems. Put your trust in the Lord and in our brotherly devotion. Rest your troubled heart; for many of us have already gone the same way as you.” At these generous words I rested my head against his shoulder and wept.
From the book The Astral City "Nosso Lar" - Chapter IV - The Spirit Doctor
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